- Would you like to speak first?
- No, not really.

Well, yes.
Well, I'd like to say thank you...
:15:29 everybody at the hospital...
...for being so nice and taking
such good care of me.

And I'd like to tell everybody
in America...

... that this is the best place to come
if you're ever shot in the ass.

- Is the chief watching this?
- Don't know.

- What did he say when you talked?
- He was napping.

Can you tell us what you're going
to do next?

Well, I'm gonna go home
to Oregon and visit my folks.

And relax and see what new things
my dad's invented in his workshop.

And check on my dog and eat some
of my mom's huckleberry pie...

... which is the best in the world.
Jesus Christ, what is
this cornball routine?

- Look at them.
- Who?

Them. The hard-boiled press.
They're eating it up.
Then there's my grandma and grandpa
who I haven't seen in a long time.

Gosh, they're in their 70s
and in really great shape.

Grandma still volunteers
as a crossing guard.

She's gonna sing
the national anthem next.

Hi, Grandma. If you're watching,
I'll see you soon.

I'll bet Grandpa was personally
decorated by Eisenhower.

My grandfather used
to pitch for the Salem Rockets...

...which was an AA league.
- Even better.

He was MVP two years running,
and we're very proud of him.

- Maybe she's running for office.
- Come on.

To be that dumb and run for office?
- What about your personal life?
- What about it?

For starters, you live
with two men. Is that right?