:40:01
Go screw.
:40:03
You'd better turn yours over.
:40:05
This is the way I like to do it.
:40:07
Man!
:40:09
You got any more, Gordie?
:40:11
Sorry, Vern.
:40:12
It's not funny. What am I supposed to eat?
:40:14
- Why don't you cook your dick?
- It'd be a small meal.
:40:21
Screw you guys, I got it.
:40:37
Nothing like a smoke after a meal.
:40:42
I cherish these moments.
:40:47
What? What did I say?
:40:54
Gordie, why don't you tell us a story?
:40:56
I don't know.
:40:57
- Come on.
- Yeah, come on, Gordie.
:41:00
None of your horror stories, okay?
:41:02
I don't want to hear no horror stories.
I'm not up for that.
:41:05
Tell us one about Sergeant Steel
and his battling leathernecks.
:41:09
The one I've been thinking about
is kind of different.
:41:12
It's about this pie-eating contest.
:41:14
The main guy of the story is this fat kid
that nobody likes, named Davie Hogan.
:41:18
Like Charlie Hogan's brother, if he had one.
:41:21
Good, Vern.
:41:24
Go on.
:41:26
Well, this kid, he's our age, but he's fat.
Real fat.
:41:30
He weighs close to 180,
but it's not his fault. It's his glands.
:41:34
My cousin's like that. Sincerely.
:41:37
She weighs over 300 pounds. Supposed
to be a "hyboid" gland or somethin'.
:41:41
I don't know about any "hyboid" gland,
but what a blimp!
:41:44
No shit.
She looks like a Thanksgiving turkey.
:41:47
- And, you know, this one time...
- Shut up, Vern.
:41:50
Right. Go on. It's a swell story.
:41:53
All the kids, instead of calling him Davie,
they called him Lardass. Lardass Hogan.
:41:59
Even his little brother
and sister called him Lardass.