Wise Guys

- Is she on your case again?
- What else is new?

When I got up this morning,
I was feeling kind of special.

Like, I don't know, today was my day.
- What's so special about today?
- Nothing. Forget it.

What are you putting on your face?
It's called Total Tan. It's supposed
to simulate a tropical glow.

- How's it look?
- Like something's wrong with your liver.

- Very funny. Put some on.
- Oh, no.

- Everybody expects us to have tans.
- They wouldn't have...

...if you hadrt said we were going
to Jamaica for the weekend, big shot.

- Well, we were.
- Not on a condemned plane.

- Where did you get that travel agent?
- My cousin Artie uses him.

Harry, your cousin Artie's been in jail
for five years.

That doesn't mean he didn't like to travel
when he was out.

Do me a favor, don't talk me into any
of your deals anymore.

If I didn't, you'd never go anywhere.
Even when you do talk me into things,
I still don't go anywhere.

I suppose this incredible package deal
to Barbados is out.

Hey, guys, here comes
the Crystal Street bookends.

Galapagos Islands.
- It's locked.
- Harry, what happened to your face?

What, this here? This happens
to be a tropical tan.

I thought it was hepatitis.
- You guys really went to Puerto Rico, huh?
- Jamaica.

We don't go to Puerto Rico no more.
It's passé.

Hey, Moe, you went too?
You look a little pale.

Yeah, well, I'm not the sun-worshiper
that Harry is.

I saw a lot of indoor activity,
if you know what I mean.

Oh, yeah? Doing what? Watching TV?