:18:00
because that's all I had done at 1 5.
:18:03
That was my life experience,
but it sounded like Pryor jokes.
:18:05
I'd be going, "You ever, sometime,
right, you get on that toilet
:18:08
"and when you shit,
that water splash up on your ass?
:18:13
"Don't that make you mad, right?
You know what really make me mad?
:18:16
"lt's when shit come
halfway out your ass,
:18:18
"then go back up
in that motherfucker.
:18:21
"Right? Why do shit be teasing
your ass, right?
:18:25
"Just get the fuck out, right?
:18:27
"You know what really bother me
:18:29
"is when you be straining
for a long time, right?
:18:31
"And one little pebble shit come out.
:18:34
"Right? Be some shit this big, right?
:18:37
"Push your head
up your asshole, say:
:18:39
'That's all the shit I'm gonna get,
motherfucker?'
:18:43
"You know what really
make me mad,
:18:44
"when your ass
don't cooperate with you
:18:46
"and clench up
and break the shit in half.
:18:49
"You be mad
as a motherfucker too,
:18:51
"because you know
you got to wipe your ass
:18:52
"for, like, five hours and shit, right?
:18:56
"Use 1 2 rolls of toilet paper
on that motherfucker.
:19:00
"You know what really make me mad,
though, is afterwards, right?
:19:03
"You done all the shitting you
gonna do for the whole day, right?
:19:06
"You finish shitting and you flush
the toilet and wait a second
:19:09
"and one chunk come back.
:19:13
"What does that chunk want?"
:19:16
That was my act.
My mother sit there shocked.
:19:18
lf you don't speak English,
you can't hear that bit.
:19:21
All you hear is "shit, ass, shit, shit."
:19:23
I got a lot of foreigners
that come over.
:19:25
People from other countries have seen
my films and come over to the U.S.,
:19:28
because New York
is a tourist place,
:19:30
and they get HBO
and they catch Delirious
:19:32
and they can't speak English
and try to do my act
:19:34
and all they got is the curses.
:19:36
I got foreigners from all over
walking up, going:
:19:38
"Eddie Murphy! Fuck you!
:19:46
"Fuck you, Eddie.
:19:49
"I know you. I see you on television.
:19:54
"You're the 'fuck you' man, right?
:19:57
"I love it. Suck my dick, huh?