Eddie Murphy Raw

"What movie you wanna see
after you finish eating?"

"Whatever you wanna see
is OK with me.

"As long as it's a PG.
I hate scary movies."

"This is my friend Bob and Karen."

"What's your problem?"
"I'm just a little shy."

Get your shy ass away from me.
I hate those shy bitches.
They make me sick to my mother...

I hate shy...
You know, those shy women,

those are usually the ones that have
the most skeletons in their closet.

That's why they shy now.
Because they been raising hell
all their life, now they shy.

Think about it.
All them shy women that you meet,

they never from the town
you meet them in.

They always from somewhere else.
Then they come to your town
and get shy.

Get the fuck out of here.
They afraid to talk,
because they think a bone

is gonna fly out their mouth
or some shit.

"So many skeletons."
I hate shy women. I like extroverts,
I like women with a sense of humor.

I like funny girls, funny women.
But you gotta be good-looking too.
I don't wanna fuck no funny, ugly bitch
and shit. I'd have me in the bed going:

"Hey, baby, can you tell me
some more jokes, please?"

Gotta be a good cook.
I didn't realize my mother was
a good cook till after I moved out.

When you're a child, if your mother
doesn't take you to McDonald's,

you don't think she can cook.
I had one of those mothers,

no matter what you want,
she has the ingredients at home.

You say, "Ma, I wanna stop
and get some McDonald's."

And she go,
"I got hamburger meat at home."

"But I want McDonald's hamburger."
"I'll make you a hamburger
better than McDonald's."

"You cook better than McDonald's?"
"That's right.
You can help Mama make it."

You say, "Shit, that's better
than McDonald's."

Your mother say,
"OK, go get me the big frying pan."

So you hand her the frying pan
and she say:

"I want you to go in the refrigerator
and get the meat

and while you in there, get me a green
pepper and a onion." And you say: