How to Get Ahead in Advertising
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:13:05
I beg your pardon?
:13:07
I said, the bag may also
have contained a pork pie.

:13:11
I hardly see a pork pie's
got anything to do with it.

:13:14
All right. Then.
What about a large turnip?

:13:17
It may also have contained
a big turnip.

:13:20
- The bag was full of drugs.
- Nonsense.

:13:22
The bag was full of drugs!
It says so!

:13:25
The bag could have been
full of anything...

:13:27
pork pies, turnips,
oven parts.

:13:29
- It's the oldest trick in the book.
- What book?

:13:32
The distortion of truth
by association book.

:13:34
The word is "may."
:13:36
You all believe heroin was in the bag
because cannibis resin was in the bag.

:13:40
The bag may have contained heroin, but
the chances are 100 to 1 that it didn't.

:13:44
More likely
than what you say.

:13:46
About as likely as a tit
spread with peanut butter.

:13:49
- Do you mind?
- The tits were spread.

:13:51
Who's the man you are to think
you know more than the press?

:13:55
I'm an expert on tits...
tits and peanut butter.

:13:59
I'm also an expert
drug pusher.

:14:01
I've been pushing drugs
for 20 years.

:14:03
- I've had enough of this!
- A pusher protects his pitch.

:14:07
We want to sell them cigarettes
and don't like competition.

:14:10
So we associate
a relatively innocuous drug...

:14:13
with one that is
extremely dangerous.

:14:15
And the rags go along with it because
they adore the dough from the ads.

:14:19
- I'm getting off at Datcher.
- Getting off won't help you.

:14:23
I've had an octopus scotting
on my brain for a fortnight,

:14:26
and I suddenly see that I am
the only one that can help you.

:14:30
I've been worried sick
about boils for a fortnight...

:14:32
large boils, small boils,
fast eruptors...

:14:35
They're incurable, all of them.
I know that, and so does everybody else.

:14:38
Until they get one.
Then the rules suddenly change.

:14:40
With a boil on the nose,
there's a sudden surge in faith.

:14:43
They want to believe
something will work.

:14:45
He knows that, which is why he gets
a good look in with dying.

:14:49
Sell some hope, see?
:14:50
These boys would be
full-time into real estate...

:14:52
if anyone came up
with a cure for death!

:14:54
God, this is a madman!
:14:56
What do you know about God,
you wire-haired mick?

:14:59
Here, have 'em.
I've given up.


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