How to Get Ahead in Advertising
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:14:01
I've been pushing drugs
for 20 years.

:14:03
- I've had enough of this!
- A pusher protects his pitch.

:14:07
We want to sell them cigarettes
and don't like competition.

:14:10
So we associate
a relatively innocuous drug...

:14:13
with one that is
extremely dangerous.

:14:15
And the rags go along with it because
they adore the dough from the ads.

:14:19
- I'm getting off at Datcher.
- Getting off won't help you.

:14:23
I've had an octopus scotting
on my brain for a fortnight,

:14:26
and I suddenly see that I am
the only one that can help you.

:14:30
I've been worried sick
about boils for a fortnight...

:14:32
large boils, small boils,
fast eruptors...

:14:35
They're incurable, all of them.
I know that, and so does everybody else.

:14:38
Until they get one.
Then the rules suddenly change.

:14:40
With a boil on the nose,
there's a sudden surge in faith.

:14:43
They want to believe
something will work.

:14:45
He knows that, which is why he gets
a good look in with dying.

:14:49
Sell some hope, see?
:14:50
These boys would be
full-time into real estate...

:14:52
if anyone came up
with a cure for death!

:14:54
God, this is a madman!
:14:56
What do you know about God,
you wire-haired mick?

:14:59
Here, have 'em.
I've given up.

:15:02

:15:09
- What on earth are you doing?
- I'm reading a newspaper.

:15:13
We're in the middle
of a dinner party.

:15:16
I'm sorry. I can't bear
that pompous herbivore in there.

:15:19
I'm sick of hearing
about her soya proteins.

:15:22
You might at least
make a bit of an effort.

:15:24
At least sit at the table.
Bring the cream.

:15:28
Actually had both breasts
and the leg removed?

:15:31
Most giris love
being on the pill.

:15:33
Do you think women like filling
their bodies with chemicals?

:15:37
We're talking about eels.
:15:39
Yes, it is most extraordinary.
Apparently, by the year 2000,

:15:43
the level of estrogen in the sea will be
as much as two parts per million.

:15:47
So many women taking the pill,
it's starting to mess up the fish.

:15:51
- They're breeding in the sea.
- I thought fish did.

:15:53
Not eels, darling.
Eels breed in rivers.

:15:56
I think men should bleed.

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