:25:03
I became obsessed with fears
of spontaneous combustion.
:25:08
This gas-fired business had penetrated
so deeply into my subconscious,
:25:12
I thought I was seconds away
from bursting into flames.
:25:17
I started drinking water,
sometimes as much as 25 pints a day.
:25:22
I slept with a bucketful
by the bed.
:25:24
I even bought
a fire extinguisher.
:25:27
I'm surprised
you needed to bother.
:25:29
You must have pissed
like a fire engine.
:25:31
Anyway, what's all this
got to do with me?
:25:33
What I'm trying to tell you
is that I tried to quit too,
:25:36
but the man who sat here refused
to accept my resignation.
:25:38
- Hard luck.
- Was it?
:25:41
I took a month off
and went abroad.
:25:43
Rested and got myself a tan
and then I came back.
:25:45
And by Christ, Bagley,
did I sell some radiators.
:25:49
- Really?
- Never been better.
:25:52
And I'll tell you something else.
I didn't burst into flames, either.
:25:55
Well, let's hope
it's not too late.
:25:57
'Cause if you went up,
it would save me a job.
:26:00
'Cause I tell you. Bristol.
Any night now...
:26:03
I'm likely to turn up here and
burn this dump to the ground.
:26:10
I can't believe
how the thing could grow so quickly.
:26:14
This morning it was a pea.
Now it's like a fucking tomato.
:26:20
I can't bear it
any longer. Julia.
:26:23
The bastard's on fire!
:26:27
Bathe it
in warm water again.
:26:29
I have bathed it
in warm water again.
:26:32
I've washed it,
dried it, poked it,
:26:35
agitated it, insulted it...
nothing.
:26:38
All it does is throb
and get bigger.
:26:41
It's like a thing
in a medical magazine.
:26:44
- Hasn't the mustard helped?
- Of course not.
:26:46
- Maybe you should try the English.
- This is the English.
:26:49
No, it's not, darling.
It's Dijon with fine herbs.
:26:52
Why don't you take some aspirin?
:26:55
Never!
I'm gonna knife at the swine!
:26:59
Calm down!
It's just a big boil.