Sex, Lies, and Videotape

Well, last week we were talking about
your obsession with
the families of airline fatalities.

Now we're talking about your
concern over the garbage problem.

Yeah... So?
Well, if you think about it, I think
you'll see the object of your obsession

is invariably something negative
which you have no control over.

Yeah, but how many people do you think
run around obsessing over
how great and how happy things are?

You know, I mean, maybe they do,
but I don't think they're in therapy.

Anyway... bein' happy isn't all that great.
I mean, the last time
I was really happy, I got so fat.

I must've put on 25 pounds.
I thought John was gonna have a stroke.
- So, what are you worried about?
- What am I looking at here?

- Is this a mistake?
- Depends on your point of view.

I don't think so. In fact,
I'm gonna tell you a little secret.

As soon as you get a ring on your finger,
you start getting spectacular attention

- from the opposite gender.
- That's bullshit!

Seriously. I wish I had
Super Bowl seats for every time

some filly had come up and talked to me
without the slightest provocation.

- It's just marvellous.
- That happened before you got married.

No, no, no.
It never happened before I got married.

If I'd known, I'd have bought a ring
when I was 18 and saved myself...

Yeah, right!
...a lot of time and money.
No, I wish somebody'd clued me in.
I'm tellin' you.
It's too weird.
Oh, shit, I gotta be someplace.

- So, racquetball Thursday, right?
- How about 7.30?

- Yeah, fine. See you later. Bye.
- Bye-bye.

- Yes, sir?
- Janet.