Sex, Lies, and Videotape

Well, I'll call him when he does.
He won't.
What are you talkin' about?
He doesn't like to talk on the phone.
He's not getting a phone.

Oh, please.
OK, so give me the Zen master's address.
I'll think of a reason to stop by.

Please, just let me talk to him first.
Why? Just gimme the address.
You won't even have to be involved.

I don't feel right just giving you the
address so you can go over there and...

- And what?
- Do whatever it is you do.

"Do whatever it is you do"?
Listen to the way you talk.

- I talk fine.
- Thank you, I was still smoking that.

What'd you lose?
That goddamn pearl earring.
It cost me a fucking fortune.
I must've left it somewhere.
So, what are you
gettin' Momma for her birthday?

I don't know.
I'll get her a card or somethin'.

- A card for her 50th birthday?
- Yeah, what's wrong with that?

Well, the woman gave birth to you.
I think you might be givin' her...

Will you stop? Jesus.
- I just thought that, you know, maybe...
- OK, Ann. OK.

How about this?
You get her something nice,
and I'll pay for half.

- All right?
- Fine. Fine.

Fine. OK. Now, if you'll pardon me,
I have to go to work.

What is the most unusual
location you've ever masturbated in?