Problem Child

No, come on, think about it.
Henry, Hank. Hank Aaron, that's a winner.

"How was school today, Hank?"
"Great, Dad!"

- Let's put a star down next to Henry.
- No, I don't like it.

What about Donald? It says
Donald is wealthy and powerful.

That's the kind of kid I want.
I'll be happy no matter how he turns out.
- He'll be our child.
- It won't hurt if he's chairman of the board.

So, when is your child due?
I'm not really pregnant yet.
We're just planning ahead.

A little wishful thinking never hurt anyone.
Here at the clinic we pride ourselves
on a 99%% success rate.

- Little Henry Healy.
- Donald.

Unfortunately, there is that other 1%%.
And you're it.
I'm sorry, but the test came back positive.

- Positive, that's good.
- No, positive is bad.

No, positive is good, negative is bad.
No, negative is good.
You see, you are positively infertile.

You mean we've been doing it
every night for nothing?

Let me explain.
This is your uterus.
That purple thing is your cervix.
These green things are your fallopian tubes
and this...

That's not supposed to happen.
Toss me that.

This yellow thing is your ovary.
Fits right in there like that.

Well, you know what? It doesn't matter.
You don't even have a yellow thing
and your green thing is brown.

- Doctor, are you sure there's no hope?
- None whatsoever.

But there are alternatives
to having your own child.

I tried to like it at the orphanage
but then I became interested in photography.
After that, things kind of went downhill.