City Slickers

Let me ask you this.
What if you could have great sex
with someone attractive...

...and Barbara would never find out?
It's a big trap. I mean,
look what happened to Phil.

The girl came to his house,
then she came to my house.

- Let's say a spaceship lands.
- Good, reality. Are you listening to this?

A spaceship lands and the most beautiful
woman you ever saw gets out.

All she wants to do is have
the greatest sex in the universe with you.

- Could happen.
- When it's over, she flies away for ever.

No one will ever know.
You're telling me you wouldn't do it?

No. It just what you describing actually happened
to my cousin Ronald. And his wife did find out about
it at the beauty parlour.

- They know everything there.
- Forget about it.

I'm saying it wouldn't make
it all right if Barbara didn't know.

I'd know, and I wouldn't
like myself. That's all.

- Pay attention, girls. We got strays.
- Hi, Curly. Kill anyone today?

Day ain't over yet.
I wonder what Barbara's doing.
You're really with just
one woman for 15 years? Just one?

Yes, Ed. I'm married. I caught my limit.
Why are you after me about this?

Let's say... all your life, for breakfast,
you eat from the Kellogg's variety pack.

- And a spaceship lands.
- No. Then you don't get the variety pack.

You pick one, your favourite one,
and you just get that one from then on.

Every day for the rest of your life,
the same cereal.

Then you wake up one morning...
and you're just not hungry any more.

You can't get an erection.
Hey, pal. I can get an erection
any time I want. Watch.

Ed, please don't. Leave the stallion in the
corral. You'll knock me into the fire, OK?

See, here's the thing.
- Kim wants to have kids.
- And you don't?

I say it's because
we wouldn't have as much fun.

But that's not the reason.
Having a kid, that's heavy.
That's a real commitment.