City Slickers

I wonder what Barbara's doing.
You're really with just
one woman for 15 years? Just one?

Yes, Ed. I'm married. I caught my limit.
Why are you after me about this?

Let's say... all your life, for breakfast,
you eat from the Kellogg's variety pack.

- And a spaceship lands.
- No. Then you don't get the variety pack.

You pick one, your favourite one,
and you just get that one from then on.

Every day for the rest of your life,
the same cereal.

Then you wake up one morning...
and you're just not hungry any more.

You can't get an erection.
Hey, pal. I can get an erection
any time I want. Watch.

Ed, please don't. Leave the stallion in the
corral. You'll knock me into the fire, OK?

See, here's the thing.
- Kim wants to have kids.
- And you don't?

I say it's because
we wouldn't have as much fun.

But that's not the reason.
Having a kid, that's heavy.
That's a real commitment.

That's saying I'm never gonna be with
another woman for the rest of my life.

Wait a minute, let me get this straight.
I have no life.
We're all agreed on that, right?

- Right.
- OK.

Your big problem
is that you're married...

:45:16 this gorgeous
24-year-old underwear model...

...who thinks the sun rises and sets in your
pants, and that's not enough for you?

- You don't understand.
- No, I don't understand.

- I don't wanna screw around on Kim.
- So don't.

From the king of restraint.
- What does that mean?
- It means that's pretty smug advice...

...from a man who mounted an 18-year-old
checkout girl on the day-old bread rack.

- She's 20, and shut up.
- Let me get you hot, Phil.

- "I need a price, register nine."
- Cut it out.

What'd you use for protection?
Paper or plastic?

- Come on!
- We're on vacation!