Born Yesterday

Well, I'm gonna say good night.
Good night!

Wait a minute, buddy.
What's the matter with you?
Where's your manners?
Say thank you to the guy.

Oh... yeah.
Au revoir.
Good night, Billie.
That guy could do you a lotta good.
I agree.
How'd you know it was me?
Lucky guess.
- Hi. Are you having lunch?
- Just a cappuccino, thanks.

This is ridiculous. It looks like
the paper has the chicken pox.

It would have been easier if you'd told me
to circle things I knew.

I'm never gonna be able
to talk to anybody in this town.

I brought something along
that may help you.

Somebody who's really smart
and looks just like me?

You want to be able to talk to people
in this town?

In Washington, everybody says
exactly the same things at every party.

You just have to know
the right responses.

If you learn these eight sentences,
you'll be a hit at every party.

- You're kidding me!
- Nope.

Those eight sentences cover just about
everything anybody talks about.

It's the Washington art
of sounding like you know what you're
talking about when you don't know zip.

- Go ahead. Read the first.
- OK.

"Here's what I'd like to know; who
elected the Washington Post president?"

That one applies
about 80 per cent of the time.

Number two. "We can't be
the policemen of the world,

but until we get another cop on the
block, we have to support our friends."