:06:00
Put some gum around the base
to get a good hit.
:06:03
[ Snoring ]
:06:06
[ Whispering ]
Slate.
:06:12
Benny.
:06:14
[ Slater ] I ain't believin' that shit
about Bonham's one-hour drum solo.
:06:19
One hour on drums? You couldn't
handle that shit on strong acid.
:06:30
We're gonna go to the bathroom.
Could you let Miss Wilk know?
:06:35
All right.
This is totally amazing.
:06:38
"I voluntarily agree
to not indulge in any alcohol,
:06:41
drugs or engage
in any other illegal activity...
:06:44
that may in any way jeopardize
the years of hard work...
:06:47
we as a team have
committed to our goal...
:06:49
of a championship season in '76."
:06:51
What bullshit.
:06:53
- Guys are actually signing this crap?
- Apparently.
:06:56
What are they gonna do next,
give you guys urine tests?
:06:59
I didn't know drugs and alcohol
were such a big problem...
:07:01
that they had to resort
to neo-McCarthyism.
:07:04
They're just afraid some of us
might be having too good a time.
:07:07
It's the old
age-suppressing-youth thing.
:07:09
- Neo-McCarthism. I like that.
- That's good, Tommy.
:07:12
And there you guys were in class
trying to list all the
Gilligan's Island episodes...
:07:16
without even
a hint of irony.
:07:18
What the hell
are you talkin' about?
:07:21
- You weren't
thinking about it, were you?
- Gilligan's Island?
:07:24
It's what's called
a male pornographic fantasy.
:07:27
- Oh my--
- Think about it!
:07:30
You're basically alone
on a deserted island with two
readily available women:
:07:34
one a seductive
sex goddess type,
:07:37
the other a healthy girl-next-door type
with a nice butt.
:07:40
So guys have it all--
the Madonna and the whore.
:07:43
Women get nothing.
:07:45
We get a geek,
:07:47
an overweight middle-aged guy,
some nerdy scientific type.
:07:51
- I mean--
- The professor is sexy.
:07:54
[ Don ]
Pink! Come on, man.
:07:57
We're off to raise some hell.
Look at that!