Cabin Boy

Since you seem so anxious
to interrupt the proceedings
with your infantile babble,

kindly step forward
and give us your presentation.

It would my pleasure,
my dear underpaid professor.

Excuse me.
[ Clears Throat ]

This, my silly, dim-witted
looking classmates,

is a 14th century
Norwegian evening derby.

Very few of these exist today,
and those that do reside in museums
or in the possession...

of extraordinarily rich young men who
happen to have rather large penises.

good-bye, Nathanial.

You are now officially
a fancy lad.

And it is my sincere hope
that you will bring dignity
and humility to that high honor.

Good luck. And do tell
your father I send my regards.

Oh, sure. In fact,
I think I have the picture
of his backside in my wallet...

if you care to kiss it
right here.

Nathanial, whatever shall
become of you?

Don't worry, about me, Timmons.
My life shall never be anything
less than perfect.

- [ Car Starting ]
- Hey! Here you go, Chubby.

- Go buy yourself a spritzer.
-[ Coin Bounces On Ground ]

Okay, come on. Let's get this
thing moving! Oh, and thank
you for opening the door for me.

Oh, that was so nice,
you moron!

Good riddance, you horrible,
dreadful, nasty little bastard.

[ Nathanial ] You're driving too fast.
Slow it down!

- Not that slow, imbecile. Speed up!
- [ Brakes Screeching ]

Why on earth have you stopped
this wretched vehicle?
What do you think--

- Get the hell outta here,
you fresh-mouthed little freak.
- Hey! Hey!

What do you think you're doing?
[ Gasps ]

[ Groans ]
I merely suggested that
you have the driving ability
of a brain-dead laboratory, ape.

- Welcome to the real world, kid.
- Well, fiine.