Clerks.
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:32:02
- You will be missed.
- Screw you !

:32:07
- Hey, you're not allowed
to rent here anymore !
- [ Jay ] Yeah !

:32:12
Screw me ?
:32:26
- You'll never believe
what this unruly customer just said.
- Wait.

:32:29
- She in here ?
- This guy's going through all the eggs.

:32:32
This has been going on
for 20 minutes now.

:32:35
- What's he looking for ?
- Said he has to find the perfect dozen.

:32:37
- Perfect dozen ?
- Each egg has to be perfect.

:32:40
- The quest isn't going well ?
- Obviously not.

:32:42
- Look at all the cartons
that didn't make the grade.
- Why doesn't he mix and match ?

:32:46
- l told him that, and he yelled at me.
- What'd he say ?

:32:48
He said
it was important to have standards.
He says no one has any pride anymore.

:32:51
It's not like
you laid the eggs yourself.

:32:53
I give him five more minutes.
After that, I'm calling the cops.

:32:56
I don't need this.
I'm not even supposed to be here today.

:33:01
Two packs of cigarettes.
:33:05
- I'm as puzzled as you.
- I've actually seen it before.

:33:09
- You know him ?
- No, but l know the behavior.

:33:12
- Let me guess. He's looking
for the perfect carton of eggs ?
- [ Randal ] How'd you know ?

:33:15
- I'll bet you a million dollars
he's a guidance counselor.
- [ Dante ] Why do you say that ?

:33:18
I saw it happen in Food City,
Like, last year. Different guy, though.

:33:22
Stock boy said he'd been looking through
cartons of eggs for half an hour,

:33:25
doing all sorts
of endurance tests and stuff.

:33:28
I asked him why nobody ever called
the manager, and he said it happens...

:33:30
two, three times a week, sometimes more.
:33:32
- Get out of here.
- No, l kid you not.

:33:34
They call it shell shock. Seems to
only happen with guidance counselors.

:33:38
They used to make a big deal of it,
but they just let it go now...

:33:40
because they always pay
for whatever they break,
and they never bother anybody.

:33:44
Why guidance counselors ?
:33:45
If your job was as meaningless
as theirs, wouldn't you go crazy too ?

:33:48
- Come to think of it, my guidance
counselor was kinda worthless.
- See ?

:33:52
It's important to have a job
that makes a difference, boys.

:33:54
That's why l manually masturbate caged
animals for artificial insemination.


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