:17:01
How much do they pay instructors
up at Columbia ?
:17:03
- Eighty-six dollars a week.
- You have any idea how much
Bozo the Clown makes ?
:17:07
Well, we-- we can't all
be Bozo the Clown.
:17:09
No, no, not to question your
choice of profession. Not at all.
:17:12
l'm questioning the values of a society
that pays somebody like you--
:17:15
- What was it ?
- Eighty-six dollars a week.
:17:17
Eighty-six dollars a week. You plan on
raising a family, right, Professor ?
:17:19
- Yes, l hope to, very much.
- Can you imagine raising a family
on 86 dollars a week ?
:17:22
Eighty-six dollars a week. And
meanwhile, look at the crisis
of education in this country.
:17:25
W-Well, yes, l-l agree.
lt's a national problem.
:17:28
So l understand you came down
to try out for Tic-Tac-Dough.
:17:31
Well, my friends tell me
l have a good mind for this
sort of thing. They coaxed me--
:17:35
How'd you like
to be on Twenty-One ?
:17:38
- Twenty-One ?
- Dan produces both shows.
:17:40
You're young; you're clean-cut;
you're from a prominent family.
:17:43
Kids would run to do their homework
to be like Charles Van Doren.
:17:45
- What about, uh, Herbert Stempel ?
- What about him ?
:17:47
- Herb ? Oh, l love him.
People don't like him.
- Well, we love Herb.
:17:50
- Kids don't look up to him.
- lf you were a kid,
would you want to be...
:17:52
an annoying Jewish guy
with a sidewall haircut ?
:17:54
- Well, l wanted to be Joe DiMaggio.
- Oh, yeah ? Me too.
:17:58
- Especially after
he signed for the hundred grand.
- Yeah, Al--
:18:00
But you see, that's what this country
needs, is an intellectual Joe DiMaggio,
:18:03
with the women and the money
and all of it, but from his
brain instead of a bat and ball.
:18:07
- Dan.
- l know. You're probably right.
:18:09
Yeah, boy.
What are we gonna do here ?
:18:14
Well, l could take
a whack at it.
:18:20
Yeah, see, the problem, Professor, is
the old college try ain't gonna do it.
:18:25
And you've seen Stempel.
[ Chuckling ] The guy's unbeatable.
:18:28
l have to admit Tic-Tac-Dough
seemed more feasible.
:18:30
What if we were to put you
on the show--
:18:34
Put you on Twenty-One
and ask you questions that you know.
:18:37
Say, the questions that he answered
correctly on the test this morning.
:18:40
- l-l don't follow you.
- Just thinkin' out loud.
:18:43
l thought the questions
were in a bank vault.
:18:46
- ln a way, they are.
- You wanna win, don't you ?
:18:49
- Well, l think l'd really rather
try to beat him honestly.
- What's dishonest ?
:18:53
When Gregory Peck parachutes
behind enemy lines, do you think
that's really Gregory Peck ?
:18:56
That book that Eisenhower wrote ?
A ghostwriter wrote it. Nobody cares.
:18:59
lt's not like we'd be giving you
the answers. Just 'cause we
know you know, you still know.