:16:00
Charles Van Doren.
:16:02
Charles Van Doren ?
Like Van Doren Van Doren ?
:16:06
- He wants to be on Tic-Tac-Dough ?
- l guess so.
:16:09
- Meriwether Lewis.
- That's it.
:16:12
Who was the editor
of the socialist paper--
:16:14
Oh, this is the guy.
This is the guy
:16:17
l got the guy
l got the guy
:16:19
l got the guy !
:16:22
- [ Door Opening ]
- l got the guy.
:16:25
So l turned to astrophysics,
:16:26
but, of course, as you know,
all the great physicists were
great before the age of 25.
:16:30
[ Chuckling ]
lt just wasn't in the cards.
:16:32
- So l went to Paris and wrote
my novel about a patricide.
- What ?
:16:37
A boy who kills his father.
:16:40
M-My dad liked it
quite a lot, actually,
:16:42
although you could fill Yankee Stadium
with the world's mediocre novelists.
:16:45
And your father
is Carl Van Doren.
:16:47
My uncle. My father
is Mark Van Doren, the poet.
:16:50
He also teaches-- l-l mean,
l also teach at Columbia. Literature.
:16:53
- Same as, uh, same as Dad.
- Oh, same as Dad, huh ? That's nice.
:16:57
Could l ask you
a personal question, Professor ?
:16:59
Actually, l'm not a professor
yet. l'm just an instructor.
:17:01
How much do they pay instructors
up at Columbia ?
:17:03
- Eighty-six dollars a week.
- You have any idea how much
Bozo the Clown makes ?
:17:07
Well, we-- we can't all
be Bozo the Clown.
:17:09
No, no, not to question your
choice of profession. Not at all.
:17:12
l'm questioning the values of a society
that pays somebody like you--
:17:15
- What was it ?
- Eighty-six dollars a week.
:17:17
Eighty-six dollars a week. You plan on
raising a family, right, Professor ?
:17:19
- Yes, l hope to, very much.
- Can you imagine raising a family
on 86 dollars a week ?
:17:22
Eighty-six dollars a week. And
meanwhile, look at the crisis
of education in this country.
:17:25
W-Well, yes, l-l agree.
lt's a national problem.
:17:28
So l understand you came down
to try out for Tic-Tac-Dough.
:17:31
Well, my friends tell me
l have a good mind for this
sort of thing. They coaxed me--
:17:35
How'd you like
to be on Twenty-One ?
:17:38
- Twenty-One ?
- Dan produces both shows.
:17:40
You're young; you're clean-cut;
you're from a prominent family.
:17:43
Kids would run to do their homework
to be like Charles Van Doren.
:17:45
- What about, uh, Herbert Stempel ?
- What about him ?
:17:47
- Herb ? Oh, l love him.
People don't like him.
- Well, we love Herb.
:17:50
- Kids don't look up to him.
- lf you were a kid,
would you want to be...
:17:52
an annoying Jewish guy
with a sidewall haircut ?
:17:54
- Well, l wanted to be Joe DiMaggio.
- Oh, yeah ? Me too.
:17:58
- Especially after
he signed for the hundred grand.
- Yeah, Al--