1:22:01
I'm funny.
And that's when Chester says--
1:22:07
""Oh, really?""
1:22:13
Well, you guys wouldn't be doing
something this stupid unless
you were really fucking drunk.
1:22:17
We already told you
we were drunk, Ted.
1:22:19
That goes without
motherfucking saying.
1:22:21
'Cause if we wasn't drunk,
we'd probably chicken out.
1:22:23
When you're fucked up,
you don't lie.
1:22:26
Man, you tell
the fuckin' truth.
1:22:28
You want to know what
the fuckin' truth is?
1:22:30
The fuckin' truth is, my
lucky Zippo is gonna win me...
1:22:33
Chester's fucking car.
1:22:35
Which brings us to your part
in this little wager, Ted.
1:22:39
I don't have a part, sir.
1:22:45
That's it. Like my old granddaddy
used to always say,
1:22:47
""The less a man makes
declarative statements,
1:22:49
the less apt he is to look
foolish in retrospect.
1:22:52
That's quite brilliant, sir.
Ah, thank you, thank you, thank you.
1:22:55
Thing is, there are some inherent
obstacles in this undertaking.
1:22:57
Aside from the obvious.
1:22:59
First of which is being
the fact that I'm not like
Peter Lorre on that TV show.
1:23:03
I'm not some sick fuck travelin'
the countryside collecting fingers.
1:23:06
All right, you know,
we're all buddies here.
1:23:08
No one wants Norman to lose his finger.
We just want to chop it off.
1:23:12
You know, if fate doesn't
smile on old Norman,
1:23:14
we'll put that fucker on ice,
whisk it right to the hospital,
1:23:17
where in all likelihood they'll be able
to sew it right back on.
1:23:19
Well, hopefully, sir.
1:23:21
Yeah, well, they sewed
that guy's dick back on. They
can sew Norman's pinky back on.
1:23:24
Yeah, how hard can it be?
Yeah, good point.
1:23:26
So, Norman, he's,
he's taken care of, you know.
1:23:28
His interests
have been looked after.
1:23:31
My interests,
on the other hand, have not.
1:23:34
I am as emotionally attached to my car
as Norman is physically to his finger.
1:23:39
That's a very fuckin' piece ofexpensive
machinery I'm putting on this wager.
1:23:42
And, you know, if I lose, I lose.
That's fine. That's no problem.
1:23:45
I have no problem with that.
I'm a big boy. I knew exactly
what the hell I was doing.
1:23:48
But if I win,
I wanna win. All right?
1:23:52
lf Norman lights his cigarette lighter
ten times in a fuckin' row,
1:23:57
he's gonna have no emotional problems
whatsoever about taking my car keys.