1:12:01
Then at night, we'd take in an opera.
Probably Die Fledermaus.
1:12:06
Then I'd follow it all up
with a drive to a secluded beach,...
1:12:10
..where I'd pop on the radio, and then
we could slow-dance till the sun came up.
1:12:17
That was the biggest
load of crap I've ever heard.
1:12:20
I mean, look at you! You're the kind
of guy that would beg for sex.
1:12:24
I should know, we can smell our own.
1:12:26
(laughter)
1:12:32
Suitor No.1.
1:12:35
If we fell in love,
how would you propose to me?
1:12:38
When Jaws popped out of the water.
1:12:40
Excuse me?
1:12:43
I propose to you now. I propose you
stop letting your father run your life...
1:12:47
..and you don't give up on somebody
you know has value.
1:12:49
And take off your socks when
you make whoopee, or whatever it is.
1:12:53
He hates it when you leave 'em on.
1:12:56
- What?
- Hypothetically speaking.
1:12:58
Suitor No.1. You sound familiar.
1:13:01
- Like your conscience, maybe?
- Look, lady, you don't know him.
1:13:05
Now make with the questions.
1:13:07
(Brandi) Suitor No.3.
1:13:09
Is your kiss like a soft breeze,...
1:13:12
..a firm handshake, or a jackhammer?
1:13:15
- Why's the funny guy moving his hands?
- I don't wanna know.
1:13:20
What the fuck is going on up there?
1:13:22
Definitely a jackhammer.
I'm in there with some pressure,...
1:13:25
..and when I'm done, you're not
the same as before. You're changed.
1:13:29
Where do you come up with this shit?
1:13:32
That is the cheesiest response to
an honest question I've ever heard.
1:13:36
I saw you kiss
and it wasn't anything like that.
1:13:38
(laughs)
1:13:39
Suitor No.2, you have to wait
until you're addressed before you respond.
1:13:44
Richard Dawson, just go back to your
podium until it's time to play the Feud.
1:13:48
(laughter)
1:13:51
- Who the hell'd you see me kiss?
- Some dude backstage.
1:13:54
- He seemed unimpressed.
- I didn't kiss any guy. I'm not gay!
1:13:58
Suitor-ette, this guy's a homophobe.
You heard how repulsed he sounded.