Harriet the Spy

See ya.
See you guys in a few.
Sixth grade.
All the usual suspects
are back in action.

First of all there's
Rachel Hennessy,

Marion's second in command.
The only thing more pathetic
than being Marion Hawthorne

is wanting to be
Marion Hawthorne.

Pinky Whitehead,
the human fish belly.
If Janie's theory is right,
then Pinky's DNA

was combined with a pint
of vanilla yogurt at birth.

Carrie Andrews thinks
she's cool...

'cause she spent her summer
vacation growing boobs.

Laura Peters looks like
someone pinched her face

and it stuck that way.
The boy with purple socks.
A man of mystery.
He never talks.
If I were known
only by my footwear,

I'd hang myself.
Beth Ellen Hansen always looks
like she's about to cry.

I wish someone
would just kick her

and get it over with.
And then of course,
there's our teacher...

Miss Elson.
She's nice, and polite.
I bet one day she goes
on a psycho killing spree,

and all her neighbors
will say...

"She was nice and polite."
Well, from what your last
two teachers tell me,

it looks like
déja vu all over again.

It's time to vote for
a sixth grade class president.

And for the third year
in a row...

we're down to our final
two nominees,

and they are Harriet Welsch
and Marion Hawthorne.
And so, as you may know,
the duties of the class
president include