Harriet the Spy

I'd hang myself.
Beth Ellen Hansen always looks
like she's about to cry.

I wish someone
would just kick her

and get it over with.
And then of course,
there's our teacher...

Miss Elson.
She's nice, and polite.
I bet one day she goes
on a psycho killing spree,

and all her neighbors
will say...

"She was nice and polite."
Well, from what your last
two teachers tell me,

it looks like
déja vu all over again.

It's time to vote for
a sixth grade class president.

And for the third year
in a row...

we're down to our final
two nominees,

and they are Harriet Welsch
and Marion Hawthorne.
And so, as you may know,
the duties of the class
president include

taking attendance,
reporting bad behavior

and best of all, editing
the sixth grade newspaper.

And now we vote.
Marion Hawthorne... again.
Three years in a row.
You know what?
I think I'll invent a poison.

A really good,
clean, untraceable poison.
One that fries your brains
and makes all your bodily
fluids boil at once.

- Could you?
- Check it out.

One day I'd be like,
"Oh, hi, Marion.

"Oh, no, I'm not
finishing this soda."

And she'd be like...
I'm serious.
Any of you guys
want to come over?

I got to get home.
If my amoebas start

they really stink up the house.
Sorry. Spy time.