Sgt. Bilko

Listen, Bilko, I might tell you this whole
post is skating on thin ice with hot blades.

Don't let them find anything.
- Is the colonel suggesting a cover-up?
- A cover-up?

Why, no. Is there... anything to cover up?
No... sir.
Good. Then I'm not suggesting one.
Just do... whatever it is you do
to make these things go away.

I can't help myself
Bad habits
I'm runnin' wild
Lost control
Well, I must confess
Cos I can't repress
In the last two months you
billed the army for 72 windshields?

That was a mistake.
One of my men, Private Buttersworth...

...had a hairline crack in his glasses.
- A crack?
- Yes, a hairline crack.

So to him, it looked like
all the windshields were broken.

I transferred him right out.
That's the way I am.

She's crazy about you. Every time
you're not looking, she stares.

You just missed it.
Sergeant, in the past two days we've
found a number of possible irregularities.

- Now, if you can't produce receipts...
- She's staring at you again.

Oh, just missed it!
... that a boy like me
Has got so many bad habits
I said, all of these bad habits
All of these bad habits
(bells ring)