1:30:04
It seemed to stop
when I was about 11 or 12.
1:30:06
I don't know why...
1:30:10
but I still loved him.
1:30:13
I had no choice.
1:30:17
I became the woman that
my father wanted me to be.
1:30:19
I dressed how
he told me to dress.
1:30:21
I presented myself
as a happy, bubbly girl.
1:30:28
Still do.
1:30:33
It's the way
that I block the feelings.
1:30:37
It's the way
that I block the pain.
1:30:50
I know I've been away
a long time.
1:30:56
I had to confront my self-hatred...
1:30:59
and I am terrified of you...
1:31:04
but it's because
you make me feel so good...
1:31:09
like my father did.
1:31:12
My father, who was supposed to
keep me safe from harm, was the harm.
1:31:20
Can you understand?
1:31:28
Do you?
1:31:39
Look at the courage she has.
1:31:41
So many people go
the other way, live as victims.
1:31:47
They use their abuse as an excuse
to close down, to give in to life.
1:31:53
How do you let it go?
1:31:56
You look it straight
in the eye...
1:31:59
and risk letting someone love you.