Nil by Mouth
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:12:12
So he gets up to his turn
to go to the screw.

:12:15
He goes, "Good morning, I'll have egg
and bacon, tomato and fried bread."

:12:19
-What, he thinks he's in a hotel?
-He's always stronging it.

:12:23
So the screw looked at him,
and he went, "No, egg or bacon."

:12:26
-What?
-Yeah, right?

:12:28
So he went, "I'll have egg and bacon
and--" And he went, "No, no, no.

:12:31
You can have egg or bacon." He went,
"You're having a fucking laugh, cunt."

:12:37
-It's egg and bacon.
-Yeah.

:12:38
-It's always been.
-Right.

:12:40
-Like salt and pepper, knife and fork.
-Horse and cart.

:12:43
Fucking all that bollocks.
:12:53
-Hello, stranger.
-All right?

:12:55
About fucking time.
:13:03
-You all right?
-Yeah. Give us a kiss.

:13:06
-Had a bath?
-No.

:13:07
I didn't think so.
You don't look soapy.

:13:12
Crunch. Hits the screw
in the eye with the egg.

:13:14
-All right, mate?
-All right, Bill?

:13:16
All right, Mark. Hello, my little darling.
What are you doing?

:13:21
-Bill.
-Huh?

:13:23
-You get that parcel?
-It's on the table.

:13:25
-By the....
-Yeah.

:13:27
-You missed dinner.
-That's all right. I'm not hungry.

:13:29
-Mom out?
-She's in the loo. Do you want tea?

:13:32
Yeah, lovely. Two sugars.
:13:33
-Danny?
-Got orange juice?

:13:35
-No, I've got Ribena.
-Yeah, lovely.

:13:41
I'll have a cup of tea.
What am l, a spade?

:13:44
The screw's gone over.
Well, it's fucking kicked right off...

:13:47
...because they're all waiting
for someone to fucking start.

:13:50
It's took a London boy to kick it off.
:13:52
-Who's this?
-This is Micky Tyne.

:13:55
You wouldn't remember him.
He's a bit more my age, you know.

:13:59
And he was a fucking lunatic.

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