:45:00
[Clearing Throat]
:45:03
[Snort Snort]
:45:04
[Sniff Sniff]
Ahem.
:45:06
DC 101. Good morning.
This is Howard Stern.
:45:09
Welcome to the show.
:45:10
I have a confession
to make.
:45:13
I did not get, uh,
laid last night.
:45:15
In fact, I haven't gotten laid
in a really long time.
:45:18
Now, give me a call
here at DC 101
:45:21
if you have
the same kind of problem.
:45:23
Having trouble
with your woman?
:45:24
Give me a call.
I'll help you out.
:45:25
Let me introduce,
over here to my right,
:45:27
my beautiful new newswoman
Robin Quivers, who looks so beautiful,
:45:31
I'm sure she doesn't have
any of these sexual problems.
:45:34
But I must tell you,
my life is, um, very odd.
:45:38
I get hornier
and hornier.
:45:40
My wife, she comes home from work,
she goes to sleep.
:45:43
The whole week goes by,
she never gets horny.
:45:45
Robin, as a woman,
what is it?
:45:48
Do women get horny?
:45:55
Sometimes.
:45:58
Why is he talking
to his newsperson?
:46:00
I'll have him stop.
:46:01
What about you
specifically, though?
:46:03
When is the last time
that you were with a man...
:46:07
sexually?
:46:10
About a year.
:46:11
You're serious?
:46:13
- A year?
- Yeah.
:46:14
A year,
ladies and gentlemen.
:46:16
Someone more pathetic
than me.
:46:17
This is good. This is good.
We're getting somewhere.
:46:19
This is a good
discussion.
:46:20
Uh, you know,
I bought a book,
:46:22
"How to Score with Babes,"
:46:24
and listen
to what it says.
:46:25
I think
it's rather revealing.
:46:27
"When attempting
to score with a babe,
:46:29
"make sure to wear
tight pants.
:46:31
"If necessary, stuff
a semirigid, large object
:46:34
"into your pants
:46:36
to create the appearance
of having a large penis."
:46:38
Women like large penis.
:46:40
Did he say "penis"?
:46:42
I know about this stuff.
:46:44
I have no bulge in my crotch.
I have a small penis.
:46:46
And I've never told
anyone this before...
:46:48
And I don't think
you should start now.
:46:50
Well, I've done it.
Now the cat's out of the bag.
:46:52
But this guy
wrote a good book.
:46:54
The author has slept
with over 16,000 women,
:46:56
and, uh,
take it from him.
:46:58
He says
wear tight pants.