:04:02
The narrator would like
a word with you.
:04:05
Me?
:04:07
He'd like to go over
a few points in the script.
:04:10
His job being what it is,
he's sensitive to every word.
:04:13
If he goes too far,
I'll straighten him right out.
:04:16
Shall we...?
:04:19
Oh, wait...
:04:23
Thanks, I've got it.
:04:25
Do you think
I should pitch my voice lower...?
:04:40
On a basic level
it's very well-written.
:04:45
Thank you.
:04:46
However,
two or three points concern me.
:04:51
May I?
:04:52
Please.
:04:55
Page 12, line 3:
:04:57
Narrator:
"Now Ritsuko, silent, lifts up her eyes."
:05:02
That is redundant.
:05:05
"Lifts up..."
That's like saying "an aching headache."
:05:09
You wouldn't
"lift" something "down."
:05:11
Do you mind?!
We're having a meeting here.
:05:14
Keep it down!
:05:18
May I change this to
"She lifts her eyes"...?
:05:24
Don't we say "lifts up her eyes"?
:05:27
We do not.
:05:31
I'll change it to "lifts her eyes."
:05:34
Next, on page 24...
:05:41
Look at all this stuff!
:05:43
I couldn't make up my mind, so...
:05:47
Sumi!
Where are we supposed to cook this?
:05:51
Oh yeah...
:05:52
I'll pass it around...
:05:54
I'll do that!
:05:55
- No, I'll do it.
- Sumi!
:05:57
Coming!
:05:58
If you really don't mind...