1:57:02
Reiben: You know, you're
a strange bird, Upham.
1:57:04
ohh. I'm sorry.
1:57:05
It's Edith, you know.
1:57:06
You know what that song
reminds me of?
1:57:08
It reminds me of
Mrs. Rachel Troubowitz
1:57:10
and what she said to me
1:57:11
the day I left
for basic.
1:57:12
What, "Don't touch me"?
1:57:14
[Laughter]
1:57:15
No.
Mrs. Rachel Troubowitz
1:57:16
is our super's wife.
1:57:18
She comes
into my mom's shop
1:57:19
to try on a few things,
all right?
1:57:20
And she's easily, like,
a 44 double "E."
1:57:24
Double "E"?
1:57:25
These things
are massive, right?
1:57:26
Those are big.
1:57:27
No.
And I've got her convinced
1:57:28
that she's, like,
a 42 "D," all right?
1:57:30
So we're
in the dressing room.
1:57:32
She's trying to squeeze
into this side-cut,
1:57:34
silk-ribboned,
triple-panel girdle
1:57:36
with the shelf-lift
brassiere.
1:57:37
And it's beautiful,
1:57:39
because she's just pouring
out of this thing, you know?
1:57:40
Is it really tight?
1:57:41
No, no. It's beautiful.
1:57:42
And she sees me,
and she can tell
1:57:44
I got a hard-on the size
of the Statue of Liberty.
1:57:46
And she says to me,
"Richard, calm down."
1:57:48
And she says,
1:57:50
"When you're over there,
1:57:51
if you see anything
that upsets you,
1:57:53
or if you're ever scared,
1:57:54
I want you to close
your eyes
1:57:56
and think of these.
1:57:57
You understand?"
1:58:00
So I said, "Yes, ma'am."
1:58:12
[Song Ends]
1:58:15
Ryan: Are you
all right, sir?
1:58:18
Yeah. I'm just
keeping the rhythm.
1:58:19
[New Song Begins]
1:58:20
[Snaps Fingers]
1:58:25
Is it true you were
a teacher back home?
1:58:29
Yes.
1:58:30
See, that's something
I could never do, you know?
1:58:33
Not after the way
me and my brothers
1:58:34
treated our teachers.
1:58:35
No, sir.
1:58:37
[Laughs]
1:58:39
I had a thousand kids
like you.
1:58:48
I can't see
my brothers' faces.
1:58:52
And I've been trying,
1:58:53
and I can't see
their faces at all.
1:58:54
Has that ever happened
to you?
1:58:56
You got to think
of a context.