:05:00
...for action!
:05:09
The world"s most awesome
high-tech fighting force...
:05:13
...is ready to battle for
the next millennium.
:05:16
Chip Hazard, reporting for duty!
:05:18
Wait. Hold on.
:05:21
Hold on, hold on. Can they really do that?
:05:24
-Do what?
-Punch out of the box.
:05:27
No.
:05:28
l didn't think so.
:05:30
There's a disclaimer.
Legal says we're completely covered.
:05:34
You know what l'm sick of?
:05:36
Commercials showing trucks
popping up on Mount Rushmore...
:05:39
...and parking on Abraham Lincoln's head.
:05:41
And shampoo commercials that say
women can look like Claudia Schiffer...
:05:45
...after one cycle of rinse and repeat.
:05:48
What if these toys actually could talk?
:05:50
What if they could walk?
What if they could actually kick ass?
:05:54
Nick Nitro.
:05:55
Toys that are so smart
when kids play with them...
:05:58
...they play back.
:06:00
Toys that actually do what they do
in the commercials.
:06:04
That's an interesting idea.
:06:06
Forget the ''Batteries not included'' crap.
:06:08
Put in a lifetime GloboTech lithium cell.
:06:10
They'll run forever.
That'll piss off the guys at Eveready.
:06:15
How's this slogan? ''The Commando Elite.
Anything else is just a toy.''
:06:19
''Everything else is just a toy.''
:06:21
That's good, too. Sure.
:06:23
Sir?
:06:25
You know, that kind of computing power
doesn't really seem feasible--
:06:29
lrwin, we're part of GloboTech.
We can find the technology.
:06:33
Our missiles can find a bastard 7,000 miles
away and stick a warhead up his ass.
:06:38
This won't be a problem. They're soldiers.
What do soldiers need?
:06:42
-Hats?
-Camouflage?
:06:45
Ms. Kegel?
:06:47
Enemies, sir.
:06:48
Enemies. See, these hideous,
ugly freaks are the enemy...
:06:52
...and our guys have to find them
and vaporize them.
:06:55
No, they're not.... Sir?
:06:58
Don't you think that's a bit violent?