Waking Ned

Jackie had no room for this,
so I thought we'd share it.

(door opens)
There's the man!
- How are you, boys?
- How are you?

- I'm grand.
- The old sparkle in your eye, eh?

Ah, you're a devil, Jackie.
Jesus, Jackie, you must have...

..a terrible thirst on you tonight
to drink two pints at the same time.

- Here, this is yours, Finn. I bought you a pint.
- You're joking me.

You never bought me a pint.
Go away with you!
I brought you home many a night.

And I bought you a packet
of your favourite Mexican crisps.

And no offence now, Finn...
I bought you some expensive fruity soaps.

Take them home and try them out.
Ah, boys, what are you up to?
Nothing. Can I not buy you a pint?
Did you come into some money, Jackie?
But you'd be the first to share it if I had, Finn.
Where have you been, woman?
I've been in bed an hour.

Ah, shut up.
- You're drunk.
- I am not!

What's the news?
I spent ten pounds on Finn,...
..and all he wanted was advice
on his sick pig.

- Huh!
- Was the sports car his?

Not at all. He's looking after it for his brother.
Then I spent another forty on the locals
in case the winner was hidden among them.

- You're acting like you won the lottery.
- Aye. Rockefeller, that's me!

I followed my nose to Mrs Kennedy's.
- And I took a meat pie to soften her up.
- Go on.

Found her on her own... drinking champagne.
- It's her, then.
- Hold on.