Drop Dead Gorgeous

thousands of seventeen-year-old
girls like yourselves...

compete around the country
in places like...

beautiful Mount Rose,

and make it all the way
here to Lincoln, Alabama...

to compete for the title
of American Teen Princess.

So which one of you will it be?
Like sands through the hourglass
so are the "Days Of Our Lives. "

God, Iris, you taped
your shows over it.

I'm sorry.
Now, ladies,
the rest of the tape...

which is now gone forever...
goes on about starting
that great journey...

which we call the American
Teen Princess Pageant.

So any of you young ladies...
who'd like to start
on that journey...

you just come right down here
and sign up.

And, please, help yourself
to some coffee and bars.

Do you think
most people would say...

that teenage beauty pageants
are a good idea?

Oh, yeah, sure.
I know what some of your
big-city, no-bra-wearin'...

women libbers might say.

They might say that a pageant...
is old-fashioned
and demeaning to the girls.

What's sick is women
dressing like men.

You betcha, Iris.
No, I think you boys
are going to find something...

a little bit different
here in Mount Rose.

For one thing,
we're all God-fearin' folk.

Every last one of us.
And you will not find a
"back room" in our video store.

No, that filth is better
left to the sin cities.

A.k. a. Minneapolis, St. Paul.
Oh, yeah, sure.
Freda, sure.