:03:02
Do you think
most people would say...
:03:04
that teenage beauty pageants
are a good idea?
:03:06
Oh, yeah, sure.
:03:07
I know what some of your
big-city, no-bra-wearin'...
:03:09
hairy-legged
women libbers might say.
:03:11
They might say that a pageant...
:03:13
is old-fashioned
and demeaning to the girls.
:03:15
What's sick is women
dressing like men.
:03:17
You betcha, Iris.
:03:19
No, I think you boys
are going to find something...
:03:21
a little bit different
here in Mount Rose.
:03:22
For one thing,
we're all God-fearin' folk.
:03:25
Every last one of us.
:03:26
And you will not find a
"back room" in our video store.
:03:31
No, that filth is better
left to the sin cities.
:03:34
A.k. a. Minneapolis, St. Paul.
:03:57
Oh, yeah, sure.
:03:59
Freda, sure.
:04:00
She was the oldest
living Lutheran.
:04:03
Now she's as dead as a doornail.
:04:05
It's the damn Shriners
who won't take down...
:04:08
that goddamn sign,
the lazy sons of bitches.
:04:10
Every year... every damn year,
I tell 'em...
:04:13
"Take down
the goddamn Freda sign...
:04:16
"you lazy sons of bitches!"
:04:30
Today's "to do" list includes
a trip to the Mall of America...
:04:34
where we are going
to be buying outfits...
:04:36
for the physical fitness number.
:04:37
Nothing too showy.
:04:38
No. You betcha, Iris.
:04:40
We need that third judge.
Gosh, don't let me forget...
:04:42
We need to think of a theme.
:04:43
Gladys, look out!
:04:46
Gosh darn it.
Hello, Father Dunegan.
:04:47
Sidewalks? Sidewalks?
:04:51
Iris, stop it.
It's not his fault.
:04:53
The communal wine just proves
too tempting for some of them.
:04:57
That's why we Lutherans
use grape Kool-Aid...
:04:58
for the blood of Christ.
:04:59
There's a parking space
over there.