:47:01
It's not the work.
I love the work.
:47:04
I've always loved the work.
:47:08
It's the game.
:47:11
The game, Ethan.
:47:13
And I was so good at it.
:47:16
I made sure all
the right people liked me.
:47:20
At night, I'd do
the checklist in my mind.
:47:23
Am I cool with Ben Hillard?
:47:25
Am I cool with Dr. Josephson?
:47:27
Am I cool with all the people
who can help me?
:47:29
Am I cool with all the people
who can hurt me?
:47:33
Nobody thought I was weak
or a loser.
:47:37
There was nobody
I was offending,
:47:41
nobody I loved.
:47:48
That game, Ethan.
:47:53
But guess what?
:47:57
You taught me how
to live outside of the game.
:48:06
You taught me how to live.
:48:14
And you know what
scares me even more?
:48:18
That I'm going back in.
:48:20
"Forgive me, Ben.
Put me back in the game.
:48:23
"I'll make you like me again!
I'll do the work.
:48:26
I'll do all the work,
just put me back in the game!"
:48:30
And do you wanna know...
:48:33
You wanna know the psychology
behind this?
:48:36
Now, pay attention,
because I'm good at this.
:48:41
I'm trying not to say
goodbye to you.
:48:49
I'm trying not to say
I'll miss you.
:48:59
I'm trying to forget you.