:35:00
The odds are 100-1.
:35:03
All we need is five grand.
:35:05
I'd rather put my money
on a three-legged rockin' horse.
:35:08
Those odds are for a good
reason, Bacon - it won't win!
:35:13
- Where's Eddie?
- Where do you think?
:35:16
The bottom of a bottle,
has been for two days.
:35:19
- It's hit him hard.
- It's hit us all hard!
:35:23
He's got to tell his dad
he's about to lose his bar.
:35:25
Listen to this one.
:35:27
You start a company -
"Arse Ticklers Faggots Fan Club"
:35:30
- You what?
- Put an advert in a gay mag,
:35:33
advertising the latest
in arse-intruding dildos.
:35:37
You sell it with...
:35:39
"Does what no other
dildo can do until now.
:35:42
"The latest and greatest
in sexual technology.
:35:44
"Guaranteed results."
All that bollocks.
:35:46
These dils cost 25 quid a pop -
:35:49
a snip for the pleasure
they'll give the recipients.
:35:52
They send their cheques
to the other company name.
:35:55
Not offensive, "Bobby's Bits"
or something, for 25 quid.
:35:59
You stick it in the bank
until it clears.
:36:02
This is the smart bit.
:36:04
You send back the cheque
for 25 pound
:36:08
from the other company name -
:36:09
"Arse Ticklers Faggots Fan
Club" - saying we're sorry,
:36:12
we couldn't get supplies from
America - they ran out of stock.
:36:16
You see how many people
cash that cheque.
:36:20
Not a single soul.
:36:22
Who wants their bank manager
to know they tickle arse?
:36:27
How long do you have to wait
till you see a return?
:36:29
Probably
no more than four weeks.
:36:31
What good is that if we need it
in six - no, five days?
:36:56
Well, it's still a good idea.