Runaway Bride

"And in Hale, Maryland,
where she helps run
the family hardware store,

she is known as Miss Maggie Carpenter,
a.k.a. the Runaway Bride."

"What is unusual about
Miss Carpenter...

is that she likes to dress her men up
as grooms before she devours them."

One antique hot-water handle
with the "hot" still on it.

Guaranteed to fit
any American Standard cast-iron tub...

with a four-inch center mount
made between 1924 and 1938.

In other words,
Mr. Paxton,

I think you are out of the doghouse
with Mrs. Paxton.

I'll see you later.
I'll put it on your charge.

There's a possibility
she hasn't seen this yet.

Maybe she just hasn't picked up a paper.
Know what I mean?

- Or not.
- [Man]Maggie?

Earl, you don't need an air-conditioner.
You need an attic fan.

There's more in the back. Hey.
So, Mag,
you've seen this, huh?

Yes, I've seen it.
And it is the rudest,
most offensive...
joke anyone
has ever played on me!

You guys, how long did this take you?
Where did you get it done?

You're both creeps, by the way.
I should "disinvite" you.

Maggie, you told us
no bachelorette jokes, so we didn't--

Holy moly.
- Bag. Bag!
- She's going. She's gonna go!

Here's the bag. Breathe!