And in my case, very mysterious.
Anyway, this is my story,
and you should pay attention
'cause it's starting right now.

[ Coughing ]
- Are you all right ?
- Yeah, I'm fine. [ Coughing ]

Your birthmark looks like shit.
- So, you're okay?
- Yeah.

Aah !
I grew up in a little town
called Besamee Heights.

It's this really friendly place
where everyone likes to say "hi."

Hi there.

[Mary] I grew up in what people
called the ugliest house...

with the ugliest lawn
and the ugliest dog.

[ Growls ]
[ Squealing ]
My mom and dad died in this horrible
accident when I was a baby,

so my grandmother took care of me.
And my grandmother
was in an accident too.

Actually, most of my family
had gotten hurt at some point.

- We're sort of accident-prone.
- [ Groans ]

I'm off.
Now, my grandmother used to
always say that when I grow up,

I should become a business woman.
But I didn't really
think about business,

mostly because I couldn't stop
thinking about the one thing...

that I wanted more
than anything in the world.

A kiss. A big Hollywood
fireworks type of kiss.

So each night before I went to bed,
I would pray for God to help me.

And please, God,
send me someone to make out with...

and tongue kiss like this.
[ Slurping ]
Then one day
while me and my grandmother...

were watching some old movie,
it hit me.