1:11:01
and he says he'll probably
taste that one day, too.
1:11:03
And then he reads
a poem about shit...
1:11:05
so l'm thinking,
this guy really likes shit.
1:11:07
But then he keeps reading,
and he reads seventeen poems...
1:11:09
all about shit.
Seventeen. l'm not kidding.
1:11:12
And he's talking about
the smells and the colors--
1:11:14
Gabe, can you pass me
the ketchup?
1:11:16
l was so relieved
when he got tired of reading.
1:11:19
Then this ethnic woman
stands up.
1:11:20
She was Native American
or Filipino. l can't tell.
1:11:23
She didn't have a poem
to read...
1:11:25
so she tells us about a problem
she's having--this sex problem.
1:11:28
She said there's some force...
1:11:30
that's just making her
screw around all the time.
1:11:33
Now all these guys
are after her...
1:11:34
and, l mean, she's not
what l would call sexy.
1:11:37
Not that l'm into women, but
l can tell when a woman's sexy.
1:11:41
l mean, it's not that
she was a skank or anything.
1:11:43
She just wasn't what l would
call sexy, that's all.
1:11:46
Anyway--This is really funny--
1:11:48
l drank so much homemade
rose hip iced tea...
1:11:51
that l really had to pee
in the middle of her story.
1:11:54
So l go to the bathroom...
1:11:55
but the bathroom door's locked,
so l'm kind of standing there.
1:11:58
l'm looking at the wallpaper,
which was giving me a headache.
1:12:00
Then the toilet flushes.
1:12:02
The door opens,
and the shit guy walks out...
1:12:04
and he's smiling.
1:12:05
Not one of those polite
acknowledgment smiles.
1:12:08
He's smiling,
like he's happy about something.
1:12:10
All of a sudden,
l didn't have to pee anymore.
1:12:12
How's everything?
1:12:14
Fine.
Everything's fine.
1:12:16
Want to hear the audition
monologue l'm working on?
1:12:18
No, l have new intentions.
1:12:22
-You really don't get it.
-What?
1:12:25
You have been monopolizing
this entire conversation...
1:12:29
since we got here.
1:12:31
Look, you're my best friend.
You know l love you...
1:12:34
but right now, l don't want
to hear your audition monologue.
1:12:39
l didn't come here
to have you sit down...
1:12:41
invite yourself over,
and talk about shit.
1:12:45
l was just talking.
1:12:47
l know, but--
1:12:48
Why are you being such a jerk
all of a sudden?
1:12:53
Yeah.
Shit's funny.
1:12:56
Shit's shit. Give it a rest,
you Nancy priss ass...
1:12:59
and let us enjoy ourselves.