:28:38
If that'll make you happy,
I will stop drinking.
:28:43
And then I would tell myself:
:28:46
"Tonight I will not get wasted."
:28:52
And then something would happen.
:28:55
Or nothing would happen.
:28:57
And I'd get that feeling.
:29:01
And you all know
what that feeling is.
:29:04
Wh en yourskin is screaming...
:29:07
...and yourhands are shaking...
:29:11
...and yourstomach feels like
it wants tojump...
:29:14
...thro ugh your throat.
:29:16
And you know that
ifanyone had a clue...
:29:20
...how wrong it felt to be sober. ..
:29:22
...th ey wouldn't dream
ofasking you to stay that way.
:29:26
Th ey would say, "Oh,jeez,
I didn't know. Here.
:29:30
It's okay foryou.
Yo u do that mound of cocaine.
:29:34
Have a drink. Have 20 drinks.
:29:37
Whateveryou need to do to feel...
:29:41
...like a normal human being...
:29:43
...you do it. "
:29:44
And, boy, I did it.
:29:47
I drank, and I snorted...
:29:50
...and I drank and snorted
and drank and snorted.
:29:53
And I did this day after day
afternight afternight.
:29:56
I didn't care about th e consequences.
:29:59
Because I knew that th ey couldn't be
halfas bad as not using.