:03:00
l took the bell out 20 years ago.
:03:08
Let me ask you something.
:03:09
How come a guy like you...
:03:14
...wastes his time reading
The National Enquirer?.
:03:16
What's wrong with it?
:03:18
l mean, it's trash, man.
:03:20
You should be reading
the Times or something.
:03:23
l read the Times for dinner.
:03:25
But this....
:03:27
This is my dessert.
:03:29
They got a contest at school.
This writing thing.
:03:32
-You ever enter one of those?
-Writing contest?
:03:35
-Yeah.
-Once.
:03:37
A long time ago.
:03:38
Did you win?
:03:40
Well, of course l won.
:03:43
Like money or something?
:03:45
The Pulitzer.
:03:49
Oh.
:03:51
The students have to read
in front of everybody.
:03:53
What the hell's that got
to do with writing?
:03:56
Writers write
so that readers can read.
:03:58
Let someone else read it.
:04:00
You ever read your own book?
:04:02
ln public? Hell, no.
:04:04
Barely read it in private.
:04:07
You know those things you do,
that coffee-shop reading shit?
:04:12
You know why they do it?
:04:14
Sell books, l guess.
:04:16
Because they want to get laid.
:04:18
Really? Women will sleep with you
if you write a book?
:04:21
Women will sleep with you
if you write a bad book.
:04:25
-Did it ever happen to you?
-Sure.
:04:31
Did you ever get married?
:04:35
Not exactly a soup question, is it?
:04:38
No. No, l never did.
:04:43
l learned a few things
along the way...
:04:45
...which might be of help with this
young lady you always talk about.
:04:50
Like what?
:04:54
The key to a woman's heart...
:04:57
...is an unexpected gift
at an unexpected time.