1:12:01
...to get my father to move,
who was impassive.
1:12:05
So I reaIIy did make up my mind
that I wouId be as tough as naiIs.
1:12:08
Nothing wouId hurt me.
I wouId have no emotions.
1:12:12
And it carried me through
for about six or seven years.
1:12:18
l got a scholarship to a grammar school.
1:12:21
People were saying to me,
partly in jealousy:
1:12:23
´´You know, they are snobs
in these schools and they´re anti-Semites.
1:12:27
´´You gotta watch yourself.
They´re gonna take it out on you. ´´
1:12:31
And l went to school.
1:12:33
I had a schooI tie, I guess...
1:12:36
...or a bIazer.
I was just entering a new worId.
1:12:40
The sun was shining.
1:12:42
I went to schooI, and a feIIow came up
to me and said, "´Who are you?"´
1:12:46
And I just knocked him down.
1:12:52
There was no doubt a cost...
1:12:54
...trying to be good aII the time
and keeping my anger in.
1:12:58
Only once did it slip.
1:13:00
One day John and l
were having breakfast...
1:13:04
...and there was some silly argument
over who got the marmalade first.
1:13:09
And Kurt threw a knife.
That was the onIy time he was naughty.
1:13:14
John had a IittIe wound here,
which was near his eye. It wasn´t nice.
1:13:19
Dr. Rose, who was our friend,
and Iived a few doors down...
1:13:22
...he came in and he was furious.
1:13:25
"´You shouIdn´t have taken this chiId in."´
1:13:29
lt terrified the entire family and me, too.
1:13:33
Since then l´ve been somewhat afraid
of my possibility of letting go to anger.
1:13:37
The other signs
that l had a lot inside me was that...
1:13:41
...l always had some intestinal problems...
1:13:44
...untiI I went into the army, and then I had
the most terribIe food and feIt fine.
1:13:48
I have an anaIogy for this:
1:13:50
When aII of us
have had the experience of finding...
1:13:53
...a bird with a broken wing...
1:13:55
...and you pick up this bird
and you hoId it in your hand...
1:13:58
...and you think it´s going to sit there,
quietIy, sweetIy...