:08:02
Dude, that's disgusting.
:08:05
Yeah, no shit.
:08:06
You're grossing me out.
You tasted your own asshole?
:08:09
Not by choice, all right?
:08:11
Change of subject. Zeke, you're up.
:08:13
That's sick. I don't know
if I can top that.
:08:15
Try, 'cause shit lips
is bugging me out.
:08:18
Fuck you.
:08:19
All right, chill.
:08:21
I was at Bell Café, writing,
:08:29
when all of a sudden,...
:08:30
I see these two fine honeys
:08:32
all over my wood.
:08:36
All over it.
:08:37
Im trying to work and I realize
they're totally focused in on me.
:08:41
Now way Im getting anything done.
:08:43
So Im thinking,
:08:44
"opportunity's knocking".
:08:46
I don't get it. lf I walked into
some beatnik coffee shop
:08:49
and saw an unemployed dirty freak
like you writing in a diary,
:08:52
Id stay as far away as possible
from that loser.
:08:56
But that's you, Brad.
:08:58
An ass-kissing, no pun intended,
suit from the upper East Side.
:09:02
Women look at you and know
what they're getting.
:09:04
I, on the other hand,
am an East Village enigma.
:09:07
I secrete mystery.
:09:09
Women dig mystery.
:09:11
-That combined with the pheromones.
-The what?
:09:13
The pheromones.
:09:15
The electricity I give off to
send the chicks climbing the walls.
:09:18
They see me,
:09:20
they smell me,
:09:21
they fuck me.
:09:24
Yeah.
:09:25
Okay, guy.
:09:27
-So, which one did you choose?
-Fuck that, I took them both.
:09:34
-You got both chicks to your crib?
-Damn straight.
:09:38
These girls were fucking pros.
:09:41
They did shit I didn't
even know existed.
:09:46
Like what?
:09:47
You ever hear of an inverted,
:09:50
double teabag slide?
:09:53
No way.
:09:55
The sex was amazing.
It was like a gift from God.
:09:58
Are you writing this shit down?