Corky Romano

I'm not going anywhere
until I'm damn well ready...

'cause I am sick
of being your lapdog.

Ooh, the other sister's
standing up for herself.

I'm as much a part of this
family as either one of you.

I put my life on the line.
I kept Pops out of jail.

I paid my dues.
Now you start showing me
a little goddamn respect!

All right!
You're a part of this family.
Now get off of me.

You wanna try that with me,
you little pussy?

Don't you touch him!
Pops, you're gonna get excited.
Shut up.
I'm already excited.

Now leave your brother alone.
Oh, sure, Pops. Take his side.
You always do take his side.

What are you talkin' about?
You sent him to college.
You never sent me to college.

You showed that nurse more
respect than you showed me!

I saw you teachin' her
how to read!

You never taught me
how to read!

Which is why I still don't know
how to read!

Don't be ridiculous. Of course
you know how to read.

I see you with magazines
all the time...

Penthouse, Swank, Hustler.
Oh, shit.
You remember that time I got
arrested at Tony Roma's...

for exposing myself
in the ladies' room?

I thought it was
the men's room!

And what about the time Uncle
Leo sent me to the store...

for a carton of marlboros,
and I come back with a...

with a carton of tampons?
Feminine products!
You thought it was funny,

I was upstairs in my room

Don't stare at me like
I'm some kind of a freak...

because I'll tell you
all something else.

He's a homo.
No, I'm not, Pops.
Huh... I'm not...
I love boobies.

Oh, bullshit! You got
a collection of mesh tank tops.

You got a poster
of Matthew Perry.