Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
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:03:00
about Him
and tHat Quick Stop boy?

:03:05
Are you even supposed
to be Here today?

:03:07
Don't get me started.
:03:09
Hey, can't we do sometHing...
:03:10
about tHose two stoners
Hanging around...

:03:11
outside tHe store all tHe time?
:03:13
WHy? WHat'd tHey do now?
:03:14
l'm trying to watch
"Clash of the Titans"...

:03:16
and all l can hear
is those two...

:03:17
screaming about Morris Day
at the top of their lungs.

:03:19
l thought the fat one
didn't really talk that much.

:03:21
What, am l producing
an A&E biography about them?

:03:24
Uh, two packs of wraps.
:03:26
Yo, how was the service?
:03:28
What service?
:03:29
The one at the Unitarian church
last week...

:03:32
where you two got married
to each other.

:03:34
What the hell
are you talking about?

:03:35
Jay said you guys had
a "Star Wars" theme wedding...

:03:37
and you tied the knot
dressed like Stormtroopers.

:03:39
And he says you're the bitch,
and you're the butch.

:03:42
l'm the bitch?
:03:43
Well, if we were gay,
that's the way l'd see it.

:03:45
Will you shut up?
:03:46
BOY: Holy shit, dude.
:03:47
The honeymoon's over.
:03:49
Oh, that does it.
:03:50
l am going to do something
about these two stoner fucks...

:03:53
l should've done
a long time ago.

:03:55
Whoa!
:03:56
What the fuck, Serpico?
What'd we do?

:03:59
We got a report of two guys...
:04:00
hanging around outside
a store selling pot.

:04:03
We don't smoke pot, yo.
:04:04
No pot, huh?
What do you use this for?

:04:07
What? l have a wiping problem.
:04:09
l stick those
little pieces of paper...

:04:10
up my brown eye and bam!
:04:11
No shit stains in my undies.
:04:13
What, you don't believe me?
Let me show you.

:04:15
Check this shit out.
Spread my cheeks...

:04:17
so that he can see
the fucking stink nuggets.

:04:19
Pull up your fucking pants,
sir--now!

:04:22
[Farts]
:04:23
OFFlCER:
Let's go. Let's go.

:04:25
We're going down to the station.
:04:26
JAY: What, is it a fucking
crime to fart? Motherfucker!

:04:30
BRODlE: No fucking way.
:04:32
Dante and Randall slapped you
with a restraining order?

:04:35
Ain't that about a bitch?
:04:37
So, are you going to abide
by the court's ruling...

:04:38
or are you going to go
"Bandit," Reynolds style?

:04:41
JA Y: Thejudge said if we
go within a hundred feet...

:04:43
of the stores,
we get thrown into County.

:04:45
You know what they
make you do in County?

:04:47
Toss the salad.
:04:48
l guess if you guys
really wanted...

:04:50
to hang out in front
of a convenience store...

:04:51
you couldjust
buy your own now...

:04:52
what with all that money
you guys made.

:04:54
Hell, yeah, bitch.
:04:56
Wait a sec. What money?
:04:58
The money from the "Bluntman
and Chronic" movie.


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