:56:02
you maniacs!
:56:04
Damn youse!
:56:05
God damn youse all to hell!
:56:11
Shit.
Not on my watch, motherfucKer.
:56:14
Die, you super monKey fucK!
Aah!
:56:23
All right, you can live...
for now.
:56:29
Did you see that shit, man?
Bitches love me.
:56:32
Come on,
let`s get something to eat.
:56:34
{Razzes}
:56:36
What, man, we ain`t hiding
in the woods no more.
:56:38
We gotta get to Hollywood.
:56:39
Besides,
we`re in the clear, yo.
:56:40
lt`s not liKe anyone
Knows we stole the monKey.
:56:43
Bitch.
:56:44
{News theme plays}
:56:45
l`m Reg Hartner with an
exclusive ``News Now`` bulletin.
:56:49
The ProvasiK animal-testing
facility in Boulder...
:56:51
was the focus of an attacK
by a terroristic...
:56:54
primate rescue syndicate
calling themselves...
:56:56
the Coalition for Liberation
of ltinerant Tree-dwellers...
:56:59
or simply C.L.l.T.
:57:01
ln a videotape sent
to authorities this morning...
:57:03
credit for the liberation
of an orangutan...
:57:05
from the lab last night
is taKen by these men--
:57:08
identified in literature
that accompanied the tape...
:57:10
as Jay and Silent Bob.
:57:13
ln this chilling clip,
they maKe it very clear...
:57:15
that they are in control
of the C.L.l.T.
:57:19
[Distorted] We are the C.L.l. T.
None ofyou are safe.
:57:21
Now tremble before the might
of our merciless leader.
:57:23
l am the C.L.l.T. commander!
:57:25
Terrifying.
:57:27
Now here to help us
explain this footage...
:57:29
is Federal Wildlife
Marshal Willenholly.
:57:31
Marshal Willenholly,
thanKs for joining us.
:57:32
At this point, what can you
tell us about the C.L.l.T.?
:57:36
From the intelligence
we`ve been gathering...
:57:38
we`ve discovered
that the C.L.l.T...
:57:39
is actually a tiny offshoot
of the L.A.B.l.A.
:57:42
Uh, the Liberate Apes Before
lmprisoning Apes movement?
:57:44
Exactly.
:57:45
Now, the TWo men
that you saw in the video...
:57:47
they go by the obvious code
names of Jay and Silent Bob.
:57:51
lf anyone out there
should come across them...
:57:54
or any other C.L.l.T.ies,
please exercise extreme caution.
:57:57
See? Told you that restraining
order was a good idea.