:57:01
ln a videotape sent
to authorities this morning...
:57:03
credit for the liberation
of an orangutan...
:57:05
from the lab last night
is taKen by these men--
:57:08
identified in literature
that accompanied the tape...
:57:10
as Jay and Silent Bob.
:57:13
ln this chilling clip,
they maKe it very clear...
:57:15
that they are in control
of the C.L.l.T.
:57:19
[Distorted] We are the C.L.l. T.
None ofyou are safe.
:57:21
Now tremble before the might
of our merciless leader.
:57:23
l am the C.L.l.T. commander!
:57:25
Terrifying.
:57:27
Now here to help us
explain this footage...
:57:29
is Federal Wildlife
Marshal Willenholly.
:57:31
Marshal Willenholly,
thanKs for joining us.
:57:32
At this point, what can you
tell us about the C.L.l.T.?
:57:36
From the intelligence
we`ve been gathering...
:57:38
we`ve discovered
that the C.L.l.T...
:57:39
is actually a tiny offshoot
of the L.A.B.l.A.
:57:42
Uh, the Liberate Apes Before
lmprisoning Apes movement?
:57:44
Exactly.
:57:45
Now, the TWo men
that you saw in the video...
:57:47
they go by the obvious code
names of Jay and Silent Bob.
:57:51
lf anyone out there
should come across them...
:57:54
or any other C.L.l.T.ies,
please exercise extreme caution.
:57:57
See? Told you that restraining
order was a good idea.
:58:00
What response
do you hope to elicit...
:58:01
by putting this Kind
of pressure on the C.L.l.T.?
:58:04
lt`s a difficult situation.
:58:05
You don`t want to rub
the C.L.l.T. the wrong way.
:58:07
Nights liKe this...
:58:08
-l miss dating a lesbian.
-{Ring}
:58:10
ls that your cell phone, sir?
:58:12
PlaschKe.
Give me a friggin` breaK.
:58:16
l`m on my way.
We`ve got `em.
:58:17
They`re in Utah.
Citizens of Utah...
:58:20
stimulation of the C.L.l.T.
is not recommended.
:58:23
Well, your plan worKed.
:58:24
The news is all about
Jay, Bob, and your C.L.l. T...
:58:27
with almost no mention
of the diamond heist.
:58:30
l told you those two
were the perfect patsies.
:58:31
Don`t you have any regret?
:58:33
Jay and Bob don`t deserve this.
They were really sweet.
:58:35
The only thing l regret
is not gutting...
:58:37
that little trout-mouth pricK
liKe a fish...
:58:39
and playing twister
with his vitals. Mmm!
:58:42
SlSSY: You know,
l don`t get you, Justice.
:58:43
You used to be
all about this girl stuff--
:58:45
stealing, boning,
blowing shit up...
:58:47
and now you`re liKe this
little priss with a conscience.
:58:49
lt`s really a fucKing drag.
:58:51
We all gotta grow up sometime.
:58:52
Oh, ifmoping around
over some boy
:58:54
you`re crushing on
is growing up...
:58:55
then pass me
my Wonder Woman Underoos. Ow!
:58:58
Yo, Marvelous Pizza
coming thr--hey!
:58:59
Hi.