Joe Dirt

Well, it ain't a meteor.
It is. It came out of the sky.
I'm sure it did, but it ain't a meteor.
It's a big old frozen chunk of shit.

- What?
- Oh, yeah.

Airplanes dump their toilets 36,000
feet, stuff freezes, falls to earth.

We call them Boeing bombs.
That can't be. That's not what it is.
I'm afraid so.
You see the peanut? Dead giveaway.
Yeah, that's a space peanut.
I'm afraid not.
This is a big old frozen
chunk of poopie.

Dude, you were eating off it.
Oh, God.
Okay. That's too much, too much.
Then what happened?

Well, then I got a dog.
You're saying you'd rather have a dog
than a frozen hunk of crap.

It wasn't really my dog.
It was this girl's dog.

I was living in the woods outside of
that postcard town I said. Silvertown.

I'd come in to steal stuff,
you know, food, whatever.

And then one winter...
Are you okay, boy?
Oh, no, are your nuts
frozen to the porch?

Oh, that sucks.
Don't pull on them.
- Who are you?
- It's okay.

I was just walking by.
Your dog's in a little trouble.

- What's wrong?
- I think his...

You know how when you get your
tongue frozen in a freezer...

...because it's all wet?
I think he got-

- Nuts frozen to the porch?
- Yes, exactly.

Oh, baby. Well, what do we do?
We got to do something...
Do you have something inside?