:56:10
What'd you say?
:56:14
You're talking to me all wrong.
It's the wrong tone.
:56:18
Do it again, I'll stab you in the face
with a soldering iron.
:56:22
Is that right?
Let me ask you something.
:56:27
Does your mother sew?
:56:32
Get her to sew that!
:56:41
You'd think the stupid punks
could think of something funnier than:
:56:44
"Don't eat it! Here's a hot dog. "
:56:55
What's going on, man?
Did you kick their asses?
:56:58
- He saved us from the mustard gas.
- You saved our lives, Clem.
:57:02
Not me.
:57:04
That's the guy!
:57:05
You're the one that carried us out.
:57:07
Shut up, you hard-on.
That's the guy! That's the hero.
:57:12
All right. Well, then,
thank God for Joe Dirt.
:57:15
- Oh, no, man. It wasn't me.
- That's Joe Dirt!
:57:17
Joe Dirt! Joe Dirt!
:57:25
Come on, Joe Dirt!
:57:27
How does it feel to be a hero, Joe?
:57:29
Well, it's like this...
:57:32
Probably feels pretty good.
:57:34
Especially after that brutal
run-in with Buffalo Bob.
:57:36
I don't know why you ask me.
Nothing happened.
:57:39
That's not what I heard.
:57:41
What's the deal with your haircut?
:57:43
It's a wig. I was born
without the top of my skull.
:57:45
Everybody, I'm looking for my parents.
:57:48
Here's a picture of them. It's taken
15 years ago at the Grand Canyon.
:57:52
If anybody has any information
on their whereabouts...
:57:56
...please call this number.
:57:57
You might get a machine, but if
a girl answers, her name is Brandy.