Joe Dirt
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1:02:01
What?
1:02:02
Hoorah.
1:02:05
I keep hearing about him. Nothing
happened with him. Nothing weird.

1:02:10
Anyway, that list had names
from all over the state.

1:02:14
But I was flat broke.
No money for gas.

1:02:17
So I found a job, and that led
to the biggest break in my case yet.

1:02:22
I don't know, Joe.
1:02:24
The way you describe that town
out in the northwest, Silvertown...

1:02:28
Hell, I have half a mind
to move there myself.

1:02:32
- Can I ask you a question?
- Sure, honey. Shoot.

1:02:35
Your mom and dad still alive?
1:02:38
No.
1:02:40
Did they die?
1:02:43
One night...
1:02:45
...they got swallowed up by
the biggest gator we ever had.

1:02:48
Before they died...
1:02:50
...they killed that gator from
the inside by punching out his heart.

1:02:53
That's brutal.
1:02:55
The brutal part, later that night,
I took my mama's hedge clippers...

1:02:59
...and cut open that gator
and pulled my folks out of its belly.

1:03:02
I couldn't stand the thought of my
parents turning into alligator shit.

1:03:08
God, I hate these nasty things!
1:03:13
If I met the right man...
1:03:16
...I mean, hell, I'd just...
1:03:18
...shut this old gator farm
down and...

1:03:22
But you know, you probably don't want
to hear all my problems, huh?

1:03:27
The gator show's about to start.
1:03:30
I better go. It's showtime.
1:03:36
There's three things to remember
when dealing with a deadly alligator.

1:03:40
And they are deadly.
Don't kid yourself.

1:03:42
Rule number one: I'm number one.
1:03:46
You hear that?
1:03:48
I like to kid around. Rule two, the
croc's number two. Before we begin-

1:03:53
What's rule three?
1:03:54
What's that?
1:03:56
Kid, give me a break, now.
1:03:57
Don't know rule three?
1:03:59
You want a match? My face
and your ass. How about that, friend?


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