Joe Dirt
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1:03:02
I couldn't stand the thought of my
parents turning into alligator shit.

1:03:08
God, I hate these nasty things!
1:03:13
If I met the right man...
1:03:16
...I mean, hell, I'd just...
1:03:18
...shut this old gator farm
down and...

1:03:22
But you know, you probably don't want
to hear all my problems, huh?

1:03:27
The gator show's about to start.
1:03:30
I better go. It's showtime.
1:03:36
There's three things to remember
when dealing with a deadly alligator.

1:03:40
And they are deadly.
Don't kid yourself.

1:03:42
Rule number one: I'm number one.
1:03:46
You hear that?
1:03:48
I like to kid around. Rule two, the
croc's number two. Before we begin-

1:03:53
What's rule three?
1:03:54
What's that?
1:03:56
Kid, give me a break, now.
1:03:57
Don't know rule three?
1:03:59
You want a match? My face
and your ass. How about that, friend?

1:04:03
I mean, your ass and my face.
1:04:05
Here we go.
1:04:06
I'm a bit of a crocophile,
so don't try this at home.

1:04:10
Don't worry.
1:04:11
This here is Rocky.
1:04:13
And he ain't no puppy.
1:04:15
Let's see if Rocky's
got some cavities.

1:04:20
This mo-fo knows not to mess...
1:04:23
...with Sir Joseph Dirt.
1:04:27
You didn't listen to me!
1:04:36
Come on, now! Rocky!
1:04:48
Oh, when bad pets go bad. Dang!
1:04:54
Are you all right?

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